OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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