I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
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