I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
it was like eating out sand paper
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
