if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
