i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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