what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
