We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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