Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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