Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
