You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
