He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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