i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
