hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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