the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
