we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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