my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
my god I love twenty year old dicks
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I currently don't understand fingers.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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