return my video game
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
