So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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