Are we in a gay sports bar?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
