Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
