It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You were trust falling into bushes
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
