just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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