I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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