Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
