I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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