He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Randomize
