Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
