All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
