My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Watching her eat just hurts me
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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