Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize