I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
