it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
