Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Randomize
