u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize