Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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