sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
