Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i just google imaged poop.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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