she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Randomize
