I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
