i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
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