Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
