i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
