Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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