So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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