we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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