my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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