I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
