Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
