people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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