if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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