Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
