The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
