Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
