my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
