I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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