Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize