Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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