Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
