he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
