I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i jhust puked up my retainher.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
